Takeaways from being a first time stepdad. Some brutally honest takeaways from the last 2 years ( I could write a book but no-one has the time for that)
Becoming a stepdad has been the hardest and most rewarding journey I have embarked on.
I am proud of what we have achieved as a blended family.
1. Fill your cup first -It’s about grounding in your own spiritual/daily practices. In other words get disciplined and commit to your daily practices to help build a solid foundation to operate from.
2.Take time to connect with your partner (I definitely neglected this one) – Whilst building an incredible relationship with the boys I totally neglected and took for granted my connection with Melissa. I acknowledge that if it wasn’t for our connection I wouldn’t be in such a loving blended family. Seeing your lover for who they are and being able to be present and grounded is vital.(Yep got this wrong as well)
3. After covering the first two bases, get this next one locked in. The show is not all about you and your ego anymore. Never actually realised how selfish i was with every aspect of my life, time, money, love. Putting their happiness first has been more rewarding than I imagined. Being selfless is a true gift.
4. Get your mummy and daddy issues sorted. STAT : I spiritually bypassed the mum and dad issues. These came crashing back to earth like a rocket ship. Parenting has evolved and so has our collective consciousness so seeing me through the kids eyes has been a hard pill to swallow at times but truly a gift to release limiting beliefs that have been lingering. As bruce Lipton sees” the issues are in the tissues”
5. 100% responsibility – BOOM! No one is coming to rescue you. If you don’t take responsibility who will???
6. Create family Rituals – This has been AMAZING. We have created a few with the boys that benefit the family connection and I have created some with the boys and I which has been brilliant for building our relationship.
7. Being a present & Grounded step dad – I knew how to do this by myself or in nature but in a family NO IDEA. Did I learn fast?? Yes I did. It’s sink or swim in this department around here.
Being able to become aware of my breath and have a non- negotiable on my daily practices has significantly helped in this department. Work in progress!!
8. Be Humble – LORDY! This was interesting. I said I was humble but was I humble? probably not!. So what does being humble mean?? Well I can tell you that it’s not being arrogant and pig headed. This is definitely a lesson that I am pleased to say I have embraced and it’s beautiful to see this has become a ripple effect in all of our relationships.
9. FUN – Take more time to be less serious. I can become quite obsessed and have the habit of going down rabbit holes with such intensity that I spend a lot of time in my head and not in a balance with my heart. I can’t get away with this in this house with all the highly sensitive people that are under this roof.
10. GRATITUDE – Yes this is in capitals. Because beyond everything I am truly grateful for the abundance of love that I have in this life. It has no conditions and is as pure as I ever had.
I am profoundly moved by the grace in which Melissa has opened her heart and also the opportunity to connect with her boys’ hearts.
With everything that we have been through in a short time I am proud and happy with how we have bonded as a family. It’s been a challenging journey but has given me deep insight into myself to not only be a stepdad but a better version of myself.
What has becoming a step parent or blended family been like for you?? Would love to find out some of your lessons??
Leave your message below & if you want to chat further to see if I can help with your own journey.